Dave Hartley’s Weblog

yes.

hello.

One more for the road, ey, why not? What you drinking? A pint of Joint-Runner-Up Best Writing on a Blog Ale? or just a Half?

You join me at a happy moment in my life, and I’m not afraid to say it. The trees are getting fat, the birds are sprouting and I’ve got The Graduate and Chinatown rented on DVD to watch at my leisure. If you’ve never been here before, then sit back, relax, start at story number one and have a good read. There’s an unrelated, seemingly random story for every week of last year, so set aside some time and let the words eat your brains like zombies probably would.

Also, I was at this blog awards thing the other night. Yes that’s a picture of me doing my reading. Don’t know who those other halfwits are. It was a good night full of fabulous literary delights from various talented bloggers. The big winner was Lost in Manchester which claimed the prize for Blog of the Year 2009. I have since had a look at the site and by gum its a worthy winner. Its an anonymous blog about the quirks and foibles of a quirky and foibly city that we all love, with pictures and info of things we might otherwise have missed.  I like it because it avoids the obvious and then points out that which should be blindingly obvious but isn’t. Well done, whoever you are.

Another winner of two awards (incl. the one i was up for, grrr) was the remarkable single-mother blog lovingly entitled My Shitty Twenties. Now if your skeptical about heading over there, don’t be. It’s ridiculously hard not to get drawn in to the simple tales of baby/toddler Tom and all the various situations he gets his mother into. It soon becomes a very pleasant way to spend your internet reading time and its plain to see why it did the double at the blog awards. Well done My Shitty Twenties, you’re not shitty at all.

And one more mention should go to Richard Vivmeister, whom I share the honour of the runner-up spot with. Go there. Read his stuff. It will make you chuckle, giggle, even possibly chortle. He got the reading night off to a delightful start the other day, even when it descended to a man pushing poo back up his own… well I’ll stop there and let you find out for yourself. Ho, Vivmondo!

Well the only left for you to do dear reader is find my other blog. That’s right I have a new blog. This time I will not be writing a short story a week for a year. I’ll be doing other things. I think.

Bookmark it, pop it in your favourites, tweeter it, googlofy it and if you don’t want to then you can just go facebook yourself.

That’s all. Really that’s it. Go away now.

Dave

Good news!

lonlonranch.wordpress.com, ths site you now cast your lovely sparkling (probably) eyes upon has been nominated for an award! The Manchester Blog Award people have kindly shortlisted me for the ‘Best Writing on A Blog’ category. Go here for more info on the Blog Awards.

I’m up against stiff competition with all these quite remarkable scribes shortlisted for the same award: Santiago’s Dead Wasp, My Shitty Twenties, I Thought I Told You To Wait in the Car and Big City, Little Girl

Gosh. I think Manchester deserves a good old hearty slap on the back for being a wonderful hub for these talented scribblers and typers. I’m just happy to be standing alongside them!

Well, if you are free on the night of the 21st October 2009 (a Wednesday, it be) then come along to the awards to see me read one of mi stories. Haven’t decided which one yet – perhaps it should be potluck? The Blog Award event is on at the Band on the Wall, Swan Street Manchester at 7pm. Come one come alllllll!!!!

And keep reading! I know there are some of the 52 that you haven’t read yet so pick em out, sit your arses down and let the words do their work. Remember to warm up and warm down your eyes appropriatly.

See you at Band on the Wall

Dave

So this is the end, my only friend, the end.

I won’t lie to you, its been arduous! writing 52 stories is no mean feat! I’ve enjoyed it though and I’m happy now to have a back-catalogue of sorts.

Please keep reading. I’ll keep them up for a while longer. I’m going to start afresh elsewhere soon, once I’ve settled into the groove of my MA. I want a blog where I can better reflect on this task and other thoughts on other things. Also, the writing doesn’t stop here. Although I won’t have as much time henceforth I still want to tinkle the plastic keys to spew forth more mysteries and curios.

But for now its cheerio.

So thanks for stopping by, thanks for taking the time out to read these things that I spill out. I hope they struck a chord somewhere deep down. I like to think that they are uprooted from somewhere quite genuine, so hopefully they will speak to you on some sort of level.

And check back for news on my new blog (which will be bigger, better and easier to edit, hopefully!)

Dave

Its nearly done, only one piece remaining. I took a week off last week, partly to prepare for this final push, partly because i was in Wales away from the computer. But after all that I do have my final idea for story 52.

Story 51 is about a murder in a bowling alley, but not quite that simple. I enjoyed coming up with song names and band names for use in the piece. Some that didn’t make it in: Better do it Softly by Cat Cabaret, TerrioTechnoClapTwoThree by Darkly Darkly and Voiceover by Mute. That’s a lto of fun you should try it yourself.

In other news, some git has stolen my facebook! changed my name to Carol Philps and started playing endless poker. If you have come from Facebook then please ignore my profile for the time being, I am attempting to seize back control.

In the meantime enjoy story 51 and see you on the other side.

Dave

Well its nearly done. I’ve nearly reached 52 and one year of telling tales tall and dog stories shaggy. Just two more left and I’m really starting to think about how to end the damn thing – with an ironic whimper? epically? realted to the first story to make a sort of loop? I have nae decided yet.

In the mean time here’s Peripeteia, as story about things happening while nothing happens, which happens all the time.

Oh and also, its come to my attention that there is a thing happening. A thing called the Manchester Blog Awards. Its on the 21st of October at Band on the Wall in the northern quarter and you can nominate blogs here. I’ve nominated a few of my faves, why don’t you nominate yours (hint hint…) 

speak soon

Dave

Story 48: ‘A Visitor’

Homage to a faithful friend. Favourite of the nine for many years, now shunned by flippant scientific technicalities. Its still there, oh boffins, you haven’t blown it out of the sky yet.

In other news, getting excited about the Manchester Literature Festival yet? i am, got to get myself booked onto some of the choiceist picks. Got my eye on Angels of Anarchy at the Manchester Art Gallery. Bit tentative about it though: what if I pay £29 pounds to do it and then get total brain-freeze and not write anything halfway decent? I”ll be the laughing stock whatever that means (giggling gravy?)

ooh and its seems no point in not being friends is back for a one-off at matt and phreds. I read for them a couple of times at Deaf Institute, damn fine reading night.

things to do, things to do

Dave

Ar, you’ve come aboard then lad? I always knew you would. Hope you got your sealegs screwed on there, I know I’ve got mine.

There’s only 6 story islands left to navigate before we reach the buried treasure, and we’ve got you for the full voyage my lad, ha ha haaaarrr. But don’t you get shirty, and don’t you be thinkin this is goin’ to be an easy ride.

What you got there then? Moby Dick? Treasure Island? Where’s Wally Now? All classics my lad but try ‘Got Some News’ and ‘Story Mode’ instead, they’ll get ya thru the storms.

Lets get off, then, fella. Get down below and find my scally man Lee Johnson. He’ll tell you a tale or two.

Arrrrrr

The number 100 on a door in Lancaster. Would I have taken the picture if had been the number 56? or 109? or 33? probably not. But then again I wasn’t thinking straight because I was barely hours away from asking Hannah to marry me.

New story, ‘Unacceptable Praise Mechanism.’ There’s only 7 to write now. Blimey! I wonder what literary treats lie in store?

That will take me into mid September and roughly a year since I began this endeavour. When I reach that it will signal a change in lifestyle I reckon. I will back to university with fresh energy and renewed fascination in learning things new. And its about time too.

She said yes by the way. Good times.

Dave

xxx

Piggyshop Quartet

hello everyone.

please follow the example of Pandora, Attica, Hera and Hebe (aka the Piggyshop Quartet) in the reading of the following bloggggggg. They’re interested, are you?

oooh it feels like its been a while. what have i been up to? Camping on the welsh coast in blazing sunshine and selling pet accessories to people for the RSPCA. what larks.

Here’s the new story, later than planned, inspired by a title of a fictional set of poems by a fictional character in a work of fiction The World According to Garp that I have been reading the past couple of weeks. Its a good read, recommended, espcially for writers as it is about a writer – his whole life in fact.

Thanks to Hannah for using her touch-typing skills to get it written up and for improving the title. Its probably the softest and nicey-est story yet, which I don’t mind at all because it still has an element of the strange.

I will hopefully have another one coming tomorrow, shorter, funnier, zanier and a tad nonsensical.

Pop along over to Kim Mcgowan to see inside the mind of another writer, one who is actually doing it for an MA. She is like a telescope into the murky world of Writersville and she makes the murkiness so, so clear. So click the link and find out why blogwriting is like syphillis.

Tartartaraaaaaaaa

Dave

Two snappy little one-pagers to read: ‘The Skull’ and ‘The Golden Silence’.

Went camping last weekend in Wales and got terribly burnt. Had a rather poetic moment staring at the newly risen moon across the Irish Sea while urinating. it felt like just me the wee the sea and the moon. very elemental. i shall have to squeeze it into a story one day.

C’mon The Murray

Dave

Here’s last week’s offering: Scenes From a Car Crash (Two Humans and a Fly).

Bit of a somber one this, not sure where it came from.

I’ve got another sci-fi offering in the works after watching copious amounts of Battlestar Galactica. That should be the one for this week. After that there will only be ten more to go. I’m not sure what to do with them afterwards. I’ll print them and put them in a folder, maybe with accompanying illustrations.

Ooh the guinea pigs are fighting. There that’s better they’ve stopped.

I’m conscious that I’d like to reflect on my own writing and the writing of others a bit more. Might start a fresh blog and post actual blog posts on it a bit more frequently than I do for this one. Yes that might be the next order of things.

In the meantime, please consume the new story. And then rinse and spit. When your full please visit the blogs of some writerly friends. Try Kim McGowan for size. She writes about writing and it always seems to make good sense to me. And how about Jenn Ashworth. A sturdy Prestonian with a genuine love for anyone keen to write, especially if you are also Prestonian (which I am). She’s got time for you, make time for her.

Dave

Two new stories up for greedy greedy readers.

Firstly, ‘Mincement Swallowed Whole’ based – ooo wait,

haha just watching my rabbit yawn. You’ve not lived until you’ve seen a rabbit yawn.

anyway, where was I. Ah yes the story is based on a real life spy plot from WWII about a soldier who was invented by the British Intelligence to act, in death, as a decoy. It was a major success for the British and helped pave the way to victory. Look up operation mincemeat on wikipedia. The story is in the style of an otherworldly letter. I’ll say no more!

And the other story is called Clownicus and the Full Stop. Its a bit nonsensical, but fun to write.

Ennnnnjjjjjooooooy.

Oooh and I’ve just seen a new image for the next Zelda game. looks mysterious….

Here’s a new story about the creation of one of my favourite novels, Frankenstein, the one which started it all for science-fiction, arguably.

A keen eye might also spot last week’s story, The Man With the Animal Skins. This was written especially for the reading in Preston at the Continental that I did the other night. I seemed to go very well, I think the night was a success all round. The theme of the night was SKIN, hence the subject matter of the story.

I’m hoping for a big writing session this weekend as I have the time and space for it. There may be yet another tale of delights up here soon. It will either be about superheroes, a witch, Guitar Hero, or Zelda. Or maybe something else entirely, who knows?

Im hoping I will have the same sort of inspiration that Mary had….

here is the conclusion to double dragon, later than planned as ever.

Thanks to Willow Hewitt for doing a little feature on my little blog on Manchester Writing and promoting story number 28 Liberty’s Toe. It made me warm and cosy inside.

Don’t forget, Tuesday this is happening:

LOOK AT WHAT IS HAPPENING ON TUESDAY IN PRESTON!!

With this person, this person, this person , this person, and this person hosted by this person.

(That’s Emma Lannie, Annie Clarkson, Andrew Michael Hurley, Richard Hirst, Tim Woodall and Jenn Ashworth respectively, to you and me and all the animals of the jungle.)

happy times,

Dave

Hello all,

It’s been a while.

Tigerfish. Lioncake. Monkeyglue.

all part of

Double Dragon.

interesting stuff. I do hope everyone is well. Sorry if you’ve been trying to read a new story on here in the past few days – there hasn’t been one. Hopefully, Monkeyglue will suffice. Next week is the conclusion of Double Dragon.

Now this next bit is very important. I will be reading at Word Soup in The Continental pub in Preston on the 19th of May. That’s a week next tuesday, in laymans terms. If you are in or around the preston are come along, its only three pounds and you get to see all these fabulous peoples read. Funnily enough, Andy Hurley is my cousin. Fancy that.

Dave

Animals and scrabble tiles, what is a boy to do?

 Stories galore! The next three weeks will be a series of stories entitled ‘Double Dragon.’ The first one (which was last week’s) is Tigerfish and the second (which is this week’s) is Lioncake. What will the third one be? Wait and see. What’s it all about? Wait and see. Is the rest of it written yet? No, but patience my lovely readers, they’re coming.

By the way if you want to see an actual Tigerfish here is a picture.

F for Feline.

That’s Merlin, my cat from home.

The picture has absolutely nothing to do with any of the storys. Never mind.

Last week’s story was called Sheep: 8 Miles and therefore had a colon in the title.

This week’s story is called Avatar: JackRip and also has a colon in the title. That is the only similarity that the two stories share.

One is sci-fi and one is not. I’ll let you decide which is which.

While you are doing that check out some other webpages of interest as well. Here is wufniks where there are many and frequent literary delights. Also, why not try bewilderbliss? and The Manchester Review. Also if you from Preston (like I am) check out the Preston Writing Network and the blog of published preston writer Jenn Ashworth. Her debut book is very good and will make you laugh from the very first line.

Also does dr who have a future? this guy seems to think so.

That is all for now. Also i have realised that technically I still have to write a story for this current week. this holiest of holy weeks when Jesus had a go at Fig Tree. poor old fig tree, never hurt anyone. don’t worry figgy, Jesus will get his comeuppance…

Dave

The big toe story is up and has had a name change to Liberty’s Toe.

Its quite a special one this one because it takes the form of scanned images of hand-written letters by – well I’ll let you see for yourself. It was easier to put the images on Photobucket and they are better to view on there as well. Click on the link in the story page and then click on the first picture in the album and then click on ‘Full Size’ in the top right hand corner of the image for the best view.

Took me bloody ages and i think its a bit cluncky (and perhaps a bit contradictory in places) but it has some nice concepts and philosophical bits to it. I also like the authenticity of reading hand-writing, especially in this day and age.

Technically that was a late offering from last week and this week’s is still owed. It going to be about Sheep. I had the idea yesterday while crossing the Pennines in a coach. should be a larf.

ah, thank the lords of Kobol for that, the new fraking story is up – although it wasn’t the ‘Big Toe’ one i was working on. That one is still in the barrells and formenting very nicely thanks very much. it may be a very special one as well.

go on, join twitter. one of these days i might be amusing

oh and on Tuesday I may be doing a bit of a reading at this night, if all goes well. its free so if you’re in the manchester area come along and listen to me and other speak our splurge

Dave

Ahhhh.

A new lay out. the old blog needed a nice lick of paint. I feel i have accomplished something.

The new story is forming. I’m going to call it ‘Big Toe’ i reckon and its going to be more space-based larks. I’ll try and get it written and posted today and it will count as last weeks offering. and then its on to this week. no rest for the wicked.

A note on week 26. This, as some may know, is inspired by my sister Jenny and bits of it (the bits about her fingers) are biographical. Its a sort of homage to a great inventive brain that doesn’t quite realise how inventive its being. So thank you to Jenny Wren, Finger, Freckle, Dunty Finger, Lily, Farcrashing and Nurnursbacktogetheragain for the inspiration. (btw Rick – can you remember the other names? I couldn’t so i had to make em up)

Im still Twittering. i’ll use it for updates on story progresses so if you are ever wondering ‘what the hell is dave doing this week? he is well late with his story’ my twitter updates may hold the answers. that address again; www.twitter.com/lonlonranch

also make sure you keep checking out the blogs that i link to on my blogroll. Got a nice mention from the lovely folk at Wufniks last week. Read what they had to say about me, i thought it was very nice indeed.

Anyway, have fun basking in the sun of thenew layout and keep reading

Dave

yes i have succumbed to twitter

no i have no story to post

yes i have an idea and a new pc to write it on

yes it will be up soon i promise

i am such a slacker

go to www.twitter.com/lonlonranch if you feel like it

I am terribly late this week. In fact this story belongs to last week and technically I still have one to write for this week. Its a good job i have a long weekend ahead of me, huuurah.

Descending to Saturn isn’t as sci-fi as the title suggests. in fact its not sci-fi at all. Its about grief which is something that I fear rather than something i’ve ever experienced. This is how i think things would pan out should anything terrible happen to someone i love. Of course, its not very realistic, but that’s not really the point.

see what you think, and more tomorrow.

dave

A long time ago (actually approx 24 weeks) i promised a story about Odysseus. I started it and then left it to fester. This morning I returned to it and found the man himself waiting patiently inside a wooden horse. I’ve let him out to write story 24

Dave

hello everyone,

I have three new ladies in my life – aren’t  I a lucky boy? They are, of course, not human instead are, actually, Guinea Pigs with capital G and Ps. Going along with the Greek theme (see Rabbit named ‘Delphi’ below) the girls are called Hera, Hebe and Attica. Attica is mine. She looks like a very suave skunk, but is a bit nervy. She’s going to be the hottest Guinea Pig on the planet when she grows up.

Hebe, however, might be blind/mad or both. I see a hollywood romcom coming up with two sisters at the opposite ends of the spectrum, getting together to thwart a man/each other or both. I’ll never let it happen, i promise.

This week’s story is a bit clunckily written, but has some nice sci-fi style ideas. It sounds like the summing up of a novel and maybe one day it will be.

The subject of this week’s story is the surreal artist Rene Magritte, who I have taken a sudden interest in. You might know his paintings like this one, this one and this one and I am quickly becoming quite a fan. I like the simplicity and the mystery of his quirky paintings that seem to have no deep pretensions and exist on a quite seperate plain from the other surrealists.

By all accounts he was a quiet, reserved, fame-shy sort of guy who let his paintings speak for themselves and i think that’s a very respectable quality, epsecially in this day and age.

As a reference, this story concerns this painting, this one  and this one and other ones in a vague sort of way.

Make sure you check out the new additions to my blogroll. Bye bye for now!

A lovely love story this week, because Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and little personal celebration of 3 years with Hannah as of the 1st of Feb.

But this aint no ordinary love story. no this is love between an illiterate tramp and a statue. it might also be a true story.

A cat story this week because the Cats Protection League are running a ss writing competition and i might enter it. It might be this story or i might come up with another one if i can.

Hmm, a lot of mights in there. A note on last week’s snooker story: it was inspired by someone i work with (not the same person who inspired story one, way back when) who actually lost an important match on said long pink. So yeah, shout out to Ric or whatever.

While you have time to browse the internet check out my version of a flaming lips album cover at:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500931777#/photo.php?pid=41012040&op=5&o=all&view=all&subj=24955166436&aid=-1&oid=24955166436&id=61408658

and remember to join the group: Lets Redo Classic Album Covers Using Microsoft Paint.

I’m off to There’s No Point In Not Being Friends at The Deaf Institute tommorrow. Should be fun.

Dave

Phew. Its a behemoth this week. I hope you read it. Its up now – sort of. its still not right as you will see. its supposed to look and read like an internet forum but some of the text boxes and pictures have shifted awkwardly. I’ll try to sort it out in the near future – but not right now as it is late and ive been doing it for hours!!!

I think its legible, so if you can get your head around it please read – because i think its pretty damned good!

Here it is, week 18: Forum ——————————————————————————————————>

Hello 2009, welcome to the world. Hope you are well and that your various months and weeks are not planning to give you any aches and pains in uncomfortable places.

This, 2009, is a blog for stories created by me, one of your inhabitants. There is one for each of the last sixteen weeks of your predecessor, 2008, but i promise there will be many more for you – because i like you better.

Although, having said that I am lagging. ‘I, Iago’ has been up for a week now and a new story is needed. Alas there isn’t one just yet, but there will be soon. It might be something about ancient Gods and internet forums, so I’m sure you’ll be looking forward to that.

In the meantime, Year of the Ox, enjoy the others that have been festering here waiting for hungry eyes to read them up. ‘I, Iago’ – the latest offering – is all Shakspearean. It’s Iago many years on from the events of Othello, but I’m sure you could figure that out because you look like a clever annum (anno? annus? annul?)

D-D-Dave (a.d.)

So here it is, merry xmas eve eve.

The following story – number 15 of 52 is quite a long’n which is why its taken me so damn long it get it up. It’s a little rough around the edges and might be a tad ‘obvious’. It would be really nice to know what you make of it because its actually a proper story with a narrative and themes and characters and stuff.

Be sure to keep visiting sogoodsoright.wordpress.com for Malcy Svonkson’s lexical xmas delights. On there you may find my presence…. so use the force and force yourselves to do what is right.

I am currently reading Byron poems, The Silmarillion and QI Banter. I am playing Lego Batman, Okami, Metroid Prime 3 (still – i am stuck) and Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I am listening to Animal Collective’s Water Curses EP and Flaming Lips’ Christmas on Mars and Jeff Buckley’s Grace. I have discovered the delights of Flight of the Conchords and very much looking forward to Wallace and Gromit and the new Johnathan Creek.

That is all.

Bye

and a happy new year.

Twas the week before christmas, and the goose was getting fat, every creature was hungry, especially the cat.

Hope your all having a merry yuletide thus far and the stress of present buying isn’t weighing too heavily on shoulders. My shoulders, you’ll be irritated to hear, are entirely weight-free as all presents are bought have arrived and most are wrapped. I’m sorry I don’t mean to gloat.

Week 13’s story (unlucky for some) has taken a rather different turn be it that it is written by two ‘guest writers’ and contains nothing but dialogue. Hickorius and Mallum Dae are two – well lets not say ‘people’, lets say ‘existances’ that i met when travelling through time. They’re a pair, I tell ya!

Reason #1 why X-Factor should be banned from our screens: The Auditionees Performance. It made me very very miserable to be alive, those poor poor people. When Cowell says ‘I’m proud to be British’ to the one that won all I can think of are those auditionees’ minds misfiring into delusion and being applauded for it. That put a downer on Hallelujah.

I’m off out to have xmas meal number 1 of 4, lucky me.

Dave

My my how cold it is. You can really feel that youve got skin and exactly how thin it is. Personally, i’m concerned about my vital organs.

Well here is week 12s story. I’ve just written it, just now, right this minute so its fresher than you can imagine. I started with the title which i think i just plucked out of the ether (which einstein/gollum assures us does not exist) and went with to see what happened. I’m pleased with the result. Its cyberpunkian SF but without the cockiness. Might be a tad difficult to read.

I was also happy with the ghost story from last week. That began as an idea in Halloween week and has matured slowly for a month. Its seems to be a good way of writing a SS. I hope i captured some good ambiguity like in Turn of the Screw which i feel is somewhat essential for a modern ghost story, seein as though ghosts don’t really exist and all. Or do they? See I’m still at it.

I’m trying to write a 1000 word story about a cat but I’m goin over the limit as ever. Maybe one for the future. At the moment it has a cat but doesnt have an ending.

Have a read, have a comment and generally have a good first week of december. go forth and spend all your money on your loved ones.

Dave

p.s. a word about the 1.2 2.11 business of the stories. When i did week 10 the system put it between week 1 and 2 which could not be allowed to happen. the 1./2. system is simply just to keep things in order and the first numbers dont really mean anything. ignore them.

The ghost story is up (and has been for a few days now). more tomorrow if i get time!

Dave

Short and sweet this week.

I’m going drinking this evening so it was probably best to get this done before the hangover weekend.

ghost story next week. oooooohhh spooky

Merry mid-november

Dave

Weeeeeeek 9 ——————————————->

Don’t count the coughs.

My what a long week, lots of things seen, lots of things done, a week to remember it seems. I feel like I need a good solid meal. instead I have burnt pasta. Yum.

I have decided to collect novelty playing cards. Send them to me so i don’t have to bother goin’ shops.

ipugpasbipaubdfgpiubasgb

Dave

Ola!

Busy times and as of yet this week remains storyless. I will endeavour to have something up by Sunday, if not before. It’ll be worth the wait I promise.

Barcelona was lovely and accommodating (sp?) and surprising by turns. We saw Spanish dolphins and lots of dogs and lots of Gaudi.

Thank you to Sarah for looking after Delphi.

Hello,

I’m off to Barcelona soon and I didn’t really leave much time to write my story for this week. But never fear as I have thrown something together at the last minute. It’s called ‘Aliens’ and its based on the Jeff Wayne War of the Worlds concept album from the 70s that I have been listening to a lot over the past few days. There’s a funny line in it when the narrator has seen the Martians land and kill some people and, instead of doing anything about it or running scared, he flippantly goes home types up a report for his newspaper and goes to bed. How very English.

So its also about that, but there’s a weird bit at the end that makes no real sense. See what you make of it.

Thats it for now, I promise I’ll write something better in Barcelona.

Bye Bye

Today Hungover, last night Halloween.

I was Baron Samedi. It looked good, but now the yellow paint makes me look jaundice.

I had to sleep for some time in the corridor outside the flat because i was keyless.

On a lighter note, the man with the scary tie got off with the angel of death, but i did not witness this coming together of forces because i was in a heap in the corridor.

now I’m in work so I must make a formal apology to everyone who expects world class Gober-style service today because it aint         gonna        happen.

A word on week seven’s story. It was written in response to the ‘9 Things That Stand Between You and Happiness’ on the blogsite for local writing mag Wufniks. go to the blog at wufniks.wordpress.com to see the other 8 things by other people.

You will find, also, that my offering is on there. Hurray for Wufniks!

zombie mumbles

Dave

Here is the new story, a little later than planned.

Today is that day of the year which always unsettles me slightly – the one when the clocks go back. What is one supposed to do with that extra hour? Do trans-dimensional rifts appear in the deepest parts of rural wales for an hour and then heal and disappear without anyone noticing? Should I be standing still for the entirity of the hour in case I mistakenly time-travel and alter the course of the future? When does it begin and when does it end?

Too many questions and – quite literally – too little time.

The story is based around my favourite film, so its quite indulgent on my part. It contains references that will seem odd if you’ve never watched Blade Runner, but don’t worry because that kind of fits in a strange kind of way.

More Human Than Human

Dave

Hello everyone!

I’ve had a busy busy week at work etc. I’ve also had a flirtation with the letter ‘B’. I seem to have taken to watching films beginning with the letter ‘B’: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Burn After Reading and Blade Runner, also I’ve spent most of my time these past few weeks in Blackwells and the rest playing with a Bunny and the other day I spent a fruitless two hours visit a B&Q.

Why do you haunt me oh ‘b’?

Anyway, enough of that, its time for more story. I’ve been trying to write a fariytale thing about fairies and torture and stuff but it hasn’t really happened. That’s maybe one for a future date. So instead I’m going to write one on the nature of obsession since my own obsession for Blade Runner was renewed this week when I went to see it at the Cornerhouse. Damn, that’s a good film. Oooh don’t get me started.

My stats tell me that views of the stories spiked again a couple of days ago. Thanks for the support and keep reading – and if you feel the burning urge inside please do let it out in the form of comments, i would be highly appreciative.

Hmm, it seems (some) Americans are still inexplicably racist. Idiots.

That’s all for now, story soon to follow!

Dave

Week 5 is upon us.

I read the story that there had been a report on the cause of the fire that destroyed half of the Cutty Sark. Some cleaner left their hoover on all weekend. Hee hee, that’s quite amusing. Here’s my take on proceedings.

So what’s new this week? i have a glow-in-the-dark James Bond watch (a lovely gift from Hannah) and its making me feel all Halloween-y. I have also got Balderdash downloaded onto my Wii which was probably the first video game I ever played. It’s still fun, what a legacy.

Today I have been mostly singing ‘I need a Hero’ and the theme from Goldfinger, although not at the same time u understand.

‘Beckons you, to enter his web of sinnnnnnnn!

BUT DON’T GO INNNNNNNNNNN!!!’

Dave

Oh and yeah that picture isn’t working out. I’ll keep trying.

Ok,

Week 3’s story is there ————————>

But it’s a work in progress. And week 4’s will be the sequel. I’m still looking for the wire to attach my phone to my comp so that i can get a picture of the illustration which inspired both stories.

But what else is happening? Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits! Well just one, called Delphi after the place where the oracle was. She’s a smokey grey lop-eared bunny and shes fun to watch for hours on end. She looks like she’s got snowboots on.

Oh, and if anyone comes in to Blackwell and asks me for ‘Financial Accounting for Decision Makers’ i’ll throttle you.

Throttle. That’s an underused word. And a good word.

Week 5’s story is coming to me. I’m thinking about the Cutty Sark. And about people who have not seen each other for a while. Perhaps, for once, it’ll be meaningful and not a silly fantasy story. Perhaps.

Dave

Hello,

It’s been a while, as I have been busy holding down two jobs and fighting crime as a masked crusader. But I have story three on the way, so fear not.

It’s called The Cloud Wizards and its based on a doodle I did at work while bored. I’l try and get a picture of the doodle up here, as its quite good. The story, however, I’m not currently so sure about. It’s half finished so the result should be up shortly.

Tomorrow I will be mostly playing with a rabbit.

Dave

Week two’s story is up and ready to read. Please comment on it, tell me what you think, I’d love to know. It’s not very long: 755 words and its pretty silly and mindless. It amused me anyway, but it doesn’t take much.

Don’t know where the idea came from, but when i get bored I do tend to start rhyming things in my head, so it must have developed from there.

Have fun with it, but treat it gently for tis only just a newborn. Aww.

Oh yeah and if anyone would like to set a challenge for next week’s story then drop a comment and i’ll see if it tickles me.

Dave

this week is Freshers Week, but there is nothing Fresh about it. Working in the academic bookshop brings me into direct contact with the following top 5 fresher cliches:

5. Apologetic Fresher – its OK, I won’t bite if you ask me to find a book or give you a free mug.

4. Pyjama-wearing Fresher – NO! You are not cool and liberal! don’t go shopping in your night-garments!!

3. Over-excited Fresher – Calm down there! You might feel so free that you want to beam a smile to everyone, but that kind of attitude is going to get you very, very mugged in Rusholme.

2. Over-Exaggurating a non-existant hangover Fresher – Don’t play up to what you think is cool and necessary in Freshers Week! Being drunk!

1. Mute Fresher – don’t let your parents do the talking! FInd your voice!

End of rant.

Please find a new (also quite old) story entitled Ferria and Cavion. What are Ferria and Cavion? Read on and find out!!

Dave

week one’s story is up, entitled ‘Sorry Mr Davies’. Its done in a Virginia Woolf internal monologue style, i hope, so it should read like your READING SOMEONES MIND!!!

The unusual photography habit is borrowed from Peter at work. He’s actually going to do it. So far he only has one.

Have fun, live long.

Dave

trickster story up. For more background on the character of the Trickster, type ‘Trickster’ into Wikipedia.

He’s in us all, somewhere

All Sumo Wrestlers cheat, apparently, but what do i know about that?

I have my idea for story of week one that stems from a peculiar hobby of a work collegue. I hope he doesn’t mind me stealing his life, but i promise I’ll give it back as soon as I’m done with it.

I’ll write the damn thing tonight on the train while i return to my home town of Preston. Hopefully, typed, wiped and striped, it will be on here by tomorrow/Friday and then i can start fishing for the next idea.

In the meantime another tale should appear here in the interim entitled: Trickster Makes This World. It would be nice to know what you make of it, if anything.

Errrg. Just because you wear a luminous saftey jacket do you feel you have the right to ogle women? They should be called Pervo-jackets. Sorry, I ramble while I watch some builders.

Things I learnt this week: a 2p coin is exactly double the weight of a 1p coin. That i did not know previously.

Farewell for now,

Dave

Look at that – its nay been 30 minutes since the last post and already a magical link has appeared to a short tale of one man and his miniatures. Read it, assess it, comment on it, do what you will.

Soon I will join the aforementioned Anthony Richardson in his endeavour to write a very short story every week for a year – he’s done two already so I’m lagging behind. I’m going to random article myself on Wikipedia and look up the last famous person who died. Maybe that will generate into something vaguely readable.

BFN

Dave